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By Seun Oladele

I am a woman. I want to help you guys know what makes a lady ticks, get her say yes to you and put an end to years of frustration in getting a quality woman to marry. The first place to start is know what turns ladies off and avoid them like plague. Know what turns them on and do them with pleasure. Now let's go:

1. NEVER APPROACH A LADY WITH PET NAMES: It's a huge turn off. For crying out loud, you don't know her, you just saw her from afar or on Facebook and you are saying "Hi honey." Honey? Honey for where? Who dash monkey banana?

2. DON'T BE DESPERATE: Desperate guys are a huge turn off! You look like someone who doesn't have a job and he's desperate to get a lady solve all of his life's problems. We take to our heels fast!

3. GET BUSY: No lady likes an indolent guy who spends all his life on facebook. If you are a clean online business person, carry go but if all you do is post your pictures while waiting for comments morning, noon and night then you are not qualified for marriage.

4. BE CLEAN: Drooling mouth, stinking breath and stained shirt doesn't get any lady's attention unless you want a dirty woman as a wife because you attract who you are. Learn to be clean from head to toe. Never approach a serious lady with bad breathe.

5. BAD GROOMING: Avoid it. Tangled hair, colour riot, bad body posture is a hiss. You can't wear a brown shirt on lemon trousers matched with white shoes and black tie, and you want to approach an intelligent lady, what? Are you a clown?

6. STUDY HER FIRST: This is where some bros land into trouble. You don't know a lady from Adam. You just see her waka pass and gbam! The Holy Ghost has spoken! The next thing is "Sis, God says you are my wife!" Well, desperate, frustrated and cheap ladies may give you a "Yes" right away, not the virtuous ones.

7. START AS FRIENDS not with "I love you." What do you love about her? Have you seen her at her worst? Please keep that to yourself and give her a break.

8. START WITH GENUINE COMPLIMENTS not flattery and not something stupid : Don't say "What sexy hips you've got!" on the first meeting. Well, a whore may blush at that, not a virtuous woman.

9. PAUSE, DON'T RUSH HER: Don't bombard her with all manner of questions on the first date. Puh-leeeeeeeeze! Give her time. You don't need to know how many boyfriends she's had or if she finds you sexy, urrrgh!!!

Gentle guys are a huge turn on. Learn to be a gentleman around ladies.

11. SHOW COURTESY: It speaks volumes. Open the door for her, let her go in first, hold her chair while she sits and open the car door for her.

12. KNOW WHEN TO CALL HER: Definitely not during her busy schedule at work. When she's at home and fully relaxed is better.

13. BE A GOOD LISTENER: Women talk and they love a man who listens genuinely and take note of everything they say.

14. FIND OUT ABOUT HER vision, dreams, goals and hobbies: It shows you are interested in her as a person not just a woman to warm your bed and slave in the kitchen.

15. DON'T PROPOSE until she shows interest in you and that takes time: she needs to find out if she can really spend the rest of her life with you.

16. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? Her bust, hips and behind? Come on, take your eyes off and look at her tenderly in the face, you are not gonna lay her, are you?

17. PRACTICE SELF CONTROL: That is where some men completely lose their senses and wander why they can't find a good woman to marry. Let me ask, will a GOOD woman have sex with you on a FIRST date? Will a GOOD woman sleep with you when you have not put the wedding ring on her finger? Why do you order for sex and complain the women in your life lack character? That is who your lust has attracted man. A principled, virtuous and godly woman won't sleep with you in courtship. She RESPECTS herself and won't give herself cheaply to any man. She's not in your life on trial. She's not there to waste her time and check you out. She really wants to marry you and contribute to your life. She has seen a great future ahead of you and wants to contribute her quota to bring it to pass so she's not someone you can use and dump! The moment you ask a godly woman for sex in courtship, you lose your respect by 50%.

18. DON'T ASK FOR SEX: Same thing as above. If you want a woman to find you sexually attractive, do not pile sexual pressure on her head.

One of the reasons I said yes to my husband is, he treated me with respect and for the five years we courted, he NEVER asked for sex once. I told him at the beginning that that was a no go area until we get married and he agreed. He was a principled man himself so that was not a problem. It made him VERY sexually appealing to me. A man who controls himself around a woman is always sexy and very much respected. He didn't need to try me out to see if I am good in bed. Sexual compatibility is determined by the degree of chemistry between us and his attitude determines the level of chemistry. The more he showed me love and respect, the higher the chemistry and that foundation has helped us a great deal in marriage. I still find him very hot and our sex life is excellent.

Stop checking all the ladies on the street out. Look for the one you love and keep your eyes focused.

Never be rude to a lady. Treat her with care. Control yourself and do not use abusive words -it is degrading. If you can do all these with prayer, you will locate your future spouse faster, get her fall in love with you and go on to have a blissful courtship and stress-free marriage.

God bless you. Cheers!

© Seun Oladele.

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By Dayan Masinde

1. When you two were younger, you two argued alot, not because you two did not love each other but because you were not mature enough. With growth comes ease of handling issues

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By Seun Oladele

Are you tired of being repulsive to men? Do they just date you and then dump you? Here are things you can do to make a man fall in love with you, propose to you, get married to you and stick to you forever...

1. RESPECT HIM: Learn-to respect men from the bottom of your heart. No man can resist a woman who shows him respect, it's a huge turn on.

2. SHOW GRATITUDE: learn to appreciate every good thing men do for you. A woman who knows how to appreciate a man has him at her beck and call.

3. ADMIRE HIM: men love to be admired. His intelligence, achievement, good looks and career means a lot to him.

4. PRAISE HIM: each time he does something extra ordinary, lavish praise on him. Don't flatter him though, men hate flattery, it's a big turn off.

5. DON'T COME CHEAP: Don't be too desperate to get married. Men can smell it afar off and keep off. No one wants a desperate woman.

6. HAVE SELF CONFIDENCE : One sure fire proof way to make a man pursue you is to have self confidence. Confident women turn men on. You make your self a grand prize that requires extra effort to be won. Men like to win. Your confidence makes him wants to "win" you.

7. GET A LIFE: have a career, business, vision, goals, great dreams. Men love women who do something worth while with their lives not a sleeping beauty waiting for some Prince Charming to rescue her from the doldrums of poverty. No one wants to marry a liability.

8. BE FRIENDLY: friendly women easily attract men. Learn to laugh, crack clean jokes, share intelligent conversations and really laugh at the funny side of things. In other words, don't take life too seriously. Be fun to be with.

9. BE YOUTHFUL: If you keep acting like a grandma. You will stay single for a long long time.

10. BE BEAUTIFUL: You don't need to be an Agbanidarego, Aishwarya Rai, Kim Kardashian, Omotola Jolade Or Angelina Jolie before you appear beautiful. Be clean, wear clothes that fit you, eliminate body odour. Do the right hairstyle that fits your head not the one in vogue. Avoid dry lips. Learn to trim and brush your eyebrow, avoid mouth odour, use the right perfume. Learn to look sweet and presentable.

11. BE FEMININE: Act like a lady not a Tomboy. Learn to sit, talk, walk and laugh like a lady. Be feminine, be girlie, let a man feel like he is with a woman, not a man!

12. BE YOURSELF: Don't pretend to be who you are not. Lies and deceit turn a man off faster than anything else. Be real, be down to earth. If he is your God ordained spouse, he will love you for who you are.

13. SAY NO TO PREMARITAL SEX: I am yet to come across a man who does not doff his hat for a woman who is beautiful, confident, intelligent yet sexually pure. Learn to treat your body with respect. Refuse to be touched inappropriately. It will increase his respect for you and he will see you as a lady worth having, worth winning, worth pursuing and worth getting married to. NNL.

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(What To Say; How To Say It; And When To Say Nothing At All)

By Karen Ehman

1. Words have power: Recognize the impact your words can have on yourself and others, both positive and negative.

2. Silence is golden: Learn to be comfortable with silence, allowing space for reflection and thoughtful responses.

3. Consider before speaking: Pause before responding, allowing yourself time to process emotions and choose the right words.

4. Guard your tongue: Control your impulsive reactions and avoid speaking out of anger or negativity.

5. Listen actively: Pay close attention to what others are saying, both verbally and nonverbally.

6. Ask clarifying questions: Ensure you understand the other person's perspective before responding.

7. Speak with kindness and respect: Treat others with dignity, even when you disagree.

8. Offer constructive criticism: When necessary, focus on specific actions and offer suggestions for improvement.

9. Avoid gossip and negativity: Don't participate in spreading rumors or engaging in hurtful conversations.

10. Challenge negativity: Gently confront gossip and encourage others to consider the impact of their words.

11. Forgive and move on: Forgive those who have wronged you and let go of negativity to protect your own well-being.

12. Guard your heart: Be mindful of the thoughts and information you allow into your mind and heart.

13. Seek God's guidance: Rely on your faith for wisdom and strength when faced with difficult situations.

14. Practice self-care: Prioritize your physical and emotional well-being to manage stress and make wise decisions.

15. Humility is key: Recognize that you don't always have the answer, and be open to learning and growing.

Remember: These are just some of the key takeaways from "Keep It Shut." Each lesson offers valuable insights and practical strategies for improving your communication skills, fostering healthy relationships, and living a more mindful life. NNL.

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By Akello Oliech and Dayan Masinde

1. A woman's greatest power is in her words, whereas men are physically strong, a woman can bring down a man just with her tongue

2. A woman's words can encourage a man and be his greatest inspiration, or discourage him and be his greatest nightmare. The more he loves her, the more power she has over him

3. A woman's tongue can destroy her own children's self-esteem with harsh and cold words. A woman's words can uplift her own children with words of hope, faith and love. How children remember their childhood is based on how their mother spoke to them

4. A woman's tongue can be very suggestive that implies to many men that she is interested in them. This type of woman comes off as flirtatious. If she is single, she misleads men; if she is married, she makes her husband insecure as he wonders why she speaks to other men with a sexual undertone

5. A woman's tongue can chase friends away with her mean tone, stinging jokes and insensitive words. A woman's tongue can keep friends because her words create an environment of care

6. A woman's tongue can be a gossip machine and she hangs around women who are also gossip machines, eventually, these women destroy each other, their marriages, their careers, their peace and other people's lives just with their tongue

7. A woman's toxic tongue can make her husband avoid coming back home to her, he deliberately comes home late to avoid her even though he is not cheating. A woman's loving tongue can make her husband come home early because he feels at home with her, he even enjoys calling her over the phone

8. A woman who is emotionally unstable is reckless with her tongue, lashing out and saying irrational things. A woman who is emotionally stable is responsible with her tongue, she may be moody, hormonal or not having a good day but she is still measured in her response

9. A woman's tongue can be a weapon that provokes a man with words such "You are not man enough", "You poor man cannot handle me", "Worthless", "Beat me, I dare you". A woman's tongue can be a peace maker, calming down conflict, stopping fires before they escalate, showing her man understanding and appreciation

10. A woman's tongue can destroy or build her own home. With her tone, she sets the mood of the home

11. A woman's words can cancel her own progress, dreams and prayers... Or she can use her tongue to make effectual and fervent prayers, command her morning and speak life to her dreams, husband, children and society

There is power in her tongue. NNL.

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By Harriet Lerner

Lessons From "Why Won't You Apologize?"

1. The Power of "I'm Sorry": Lerner explores the immense emotional weight of a genuine apology and its role in VALIDATING your hurt, fostering hope, igniting healing, and eventually, restoring trust. Offering and receiving apologies are crucial for healing and maintaining healthy relationships.

2. Beyond "I'm Sorry": The book goes beyond expecting a simple apology and delves into these deeper needs that arise after betrayal. It reveals that an apology is an acknowledgement of responsibility and the impact of our actions on others. It is also one sure way to show remorse and the desire to repair the damage.

3. The "Non-Apologizer": Lerner explores the psychology behind individuals who resist apologizing, including factors like shame, denial, or difficulty facing their own wrongdoing. This knowledge helps you detach from their behavior and manage expectations, focusing on your own healing journey.

4. The Over-Apologizer: Excessive apologies can also be problematic. The book examines those who apologize excessively, often due to low self-esteem or fear of abandonment. Recognizing this dynamic can help you avoid getting caught in unhealthy codependency patterns.

5. Healing Without an Apology: While an apology is ideal, focusing solely on its absence can hinder your healing. The book offers strategies for healing even if you don't receive one, such as self-compassion, setting boundaries, and reclaiming your narrative by focusing on your strength and resilience.

6. Anger is your friend: Your anger is not your enemy. It signals a violation, fuels change, and motivates you to protect yourself. Lerner normalizes and validates anger as a natural response to betrayal, and offers healthy ways to express and manage it constructively instead of allowing it to consume you.

7. Forgiveness is a Personal Choice: Forgiveness isn't about condoning the act; it's about self-care. Focus on letting go of anger and resentment for your own peace of mind, not theirs. The book challenges the societal pressure to forgive automatically. You decide what forgiveness means and looks like for you.

8. Grieving the Loss: Allow yourself to feel the emotions. Betrayal often involves a loss of trust, safety, or the relationship itself. Acknowledging and grieving this loss is crucial for processing your emotions and moving forward.

9. The Power of Connection: Don't heal alone. Reconnect with supportive loved ones, seek therapy, or join support groups. Sharing your experience and receiving understanding can be invaluable for your emotional well-being.

10. Rewriting Your Story: The power lies in your narrative. Lerner encourages you to rewrite the narrative of betrayal on your own terms, focusing on your strength and resilience. While you do, remember that the experience doesn't define you, but empowers you to become a more authentic and resilient version of yourself. NNL.

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