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By Seun Oladele

I am a woman. I want to help you guys know what makes a lady ticks, get her say yes to you and put an end to years of frustration in getting a quality woman to marry. The first place to start is know what turns ladies off and avoid them like plague. Know what turns them on and do them with pleasure. Now let's go:

  1. NEVER APPROACH A LADY WITH PET NAMES: It's a huge turn off. For crying out loud, you don't know her, you just saw her from afar or on Facebook and you are saying "Hi honey." Honey? Honey for where? Who dash monkey banana?

  2. DON'T BE DESPERATE: Desperate guys are a huge turn off! You look like someone who doesn't have a job and he's desperate to get a lady solve all of his life's problems. We take to our heels fast!

  3. GET BUSY: No lady likes an indolent guy who spends all his life on facebook. If you are a clean online business person, carry go but if all you do is post your pictures while waiting for comments morning, noon and night then you are not qualified for marriage.

  4. BE CLEAN: Drooling mouth, stinking breath and stained shirt doesn't get any lady's attention unless you want a dirty woman as a wife because you attract who you are. Learn to be clean from head to toe. Never approach a serious lady with bad breathe.

  5. BAD GROOMING: Avoid it. Tangled hair, colour riot, bad body posture is a hiss. You can't wear a brown shirt on lemon trousers matched with white shoes and black tie, and you want to approach an intelligent lady, what? Are you a clown?

  6. STUDY HER FIRST: This is where some bros land into trouble. You don't know a lady from Adam. You just see her waka pass and gbam! The Holy Ghost has spoken! The next thing is "Sis, God says you are my wife!" Well, desperate, frustrated and cheap ladies may give you a "Yes" right away, not the virtuous ones.

  7. START AS FRIENDS not with "I love you." What do you love about her? Have you seen her at her worst? Please keep that to yourself and give her a break.

  8. START WITH GENUINE COMPLIMENTS not flattery and not something stupid : Don't say "What sexy hips you've got!" on the first meeting. Well, a whore may blush at that, not a virtuous woman.

  9. PAUSE, DON'T RUSH HER: Don't bombard her with all manner of questions on the first date. Puh-leeeeeeeeze! Give her time. You don't need to know how many boyfriends she's had or if she finds you sexy, urrrgh!!!

Gentle guys are a huge turn on. Learn to be a gentleman around ladies.

  1. SHOW COURTESY: It speaks volumes. Open the door for her, let her go in first, hold her chair while she sits and open the car door for her.

  2. KNOW WHEN TO CALL HER: Definitely not during her busy schedule at work. When she's at home and fully relaxed is better.

  3. BE A GOOD LISTENER: Women talk and they love a man who listens genuinely and take note of everything they say.

  4. FIND OUT ABOUT HER vision, dreams, goals and hobbies: It shows you are interested in her as a person not just a woman to warm your bed and slave in the kitchen.

  5. DON'T PROPOSE until she shows interest in you and that takes time: she needs to find out if she can really spend the rest of her life with you.

  6. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? Her bust, hips and behind? Come on, take your eyes off and look at her tenderly in the face, you are not gonna lay her, are you?

  7. PRACTICE SELF CONTROL: That is where some men completely lose their senses and wander why they can't find a good woman to marry. Let me ask, will a GOOD woman have sex with you on a FIRST date? Will a GOOD woman sleep with you when you have not put the wedding ring on her finger? Why do you order for sex and complain the women in your life lack character? That is who your lust has attracted man. A principled, virtuous and godly woman won't sleep with you in courtship. She RESPECTS herself and won't give herself cheaply to any man. She's not in your life on trial. She's not there to waste her time and check you out. She really wants to marry you and contribute to your life. She has seen a great future ahead of you and wants to contribute her quota to bring it to pass so she's not someone you can use and dump! The moment you ask a godly woman for sex in courtship, you lose your respect by 50%.

  8. DON'T ASK FOR SEX: Same thing as above. If you want a woman to find you sexually attractive, do not pile sexual pressure on her head.

One of the reasons I said yes to my husband is, he treated me with respect and for the five years we courted, he NEVER asked for sex once. I told him at the beginning that that was a no go area until we get married and he agreed. He was a principled man himself so that was not a problem. It made him VERY sexually appealing to me. A man who controls himself around a woman is always sexy and very much respected. He didn't need to try me out to see if I am good in bed. Sexual compatibility is determined by the degree of chemistry between us and his attitude determines the level of chemistry. The more he showed me love and respect, the higher the chemistry and that foundation has helped us a great deal in marriage. I still find him very hot and our sex life is excellent.

Stop checking all the ladies on the street out. Look for the one you love and keep your eyes focused.

Never be rude to a lady. Treat her with care. Control yourself and do not use abusive words -it is degrading. If you can do all these with prayer, you will locate your future spouse faster, get her fall in love with you and go on to have a blissful courtship and stress-free marriage.

God bless you. Cheers!

Ā© Seun Oladele.

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